God's Green Earth

In the beginning, God created planets, moons, stars, galaxies...the universe. Although He loved all of His creations planet Earth was His favorite. It was warm, rich and dynamic. In fact, God loved His Earth so much, He wanted to give it a gift. He searched through His personal affects and came across a variety pack labeled flora. In one grand gesture He scattered the contents over the planet and watched life unfold. All kinds of plants erupted from the soil in a spectacular display. They were beautiful, quiet and peaceful, all while living growing and dying. It was perfect. God was so enchanted with His lush vegetated Earth He wanted to give it another gift. After looking long and hard through His belongings He found another variety pack, this one labeled fauna #1. With one more grand sweeping motion the fauna populated the Earth. Much to God's delight the contents of this package were beautiful, friendly and harmless. But a terrible thing happened. The new creatures started munching, grazing and trampling God's green earth. The plants that survived so patiently and peacefully were being destroyed by the mindless animals. God was heartbroken. In a moment of outrage He threw upon the Earth another variety pack. This one spread quickly and loudly began to devour the plant murderers. But God soon came to regret this decision, realizing that all of this brutality was only making matters worse. As He looked over the blood soaked terrain that had once been so innocent and pure He was deeply saddened. God simply did not know what to do; every move He made only seemed to cause more problems. So God did the only thing He could, He sat back and watched. He watched the carnivores hunt and feast and He watched the herbivores collect unknowing victims. But mostly He watched His beloved plants as they began to grow and change and adapt. Some tried to protect themselves, while others desperately spread their seeds. But some plants began to change in another way. These plants, left in the dark dreary corners of the Earth, began to take victims; tiny insignificant victims, but victims nonetheless. God learned to forgive the vicious carnivores, as they had no other way to survive. And He managed to forgive the herbivores for their destruction as their intentions were pure. But the carnivorous plants had betrayed God. Today the heights of heaven remain filled with a botanical bounty where all the animals of the Earth roam free. But there is no place in heaven for carnivorous plants. Carnivorous plants go to hell.